


The Soulless Lives of Corporate Drones

by panpipe



Category: Arashi (Band), KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sho’s first job isn’t quite what he expected, his roommate won’t stop flirting with his boss, and everyone he works with won’t stop having nervous breakdowns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Soulless Lives of Corporate Drones

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic late 2009/early 2010. And it only needed two paragraphs to call it complete. I can't believe it took me so long, but I still found it funny and relatable, so hopefully you all do as well.

When Sho graduates from college, he expects times to be tough. It’s a recession, after all, and Sho knows he needs to take whatever he can get. And despite his lack of overly impressive scholarships, Sho thinks he's done decently enough school-wise and work-wise to earn himself a nice job with reasonable pay. He may be an older addition to the work force, having taken a few years off from school to pursue a foolish dream of working in a French bakery. He also took an extra two years to graduate, but he that’s only because he has a thesis, two degrees, and a study abroad under his belt.

What he gets instead are ten-hour workdays for minimal salary in a job that barely relates to either his Economics or Chemistry degrees.

Still, he's learns to live with it. He is, after all, one of 42% with a job straight out of college. It can't be that bad, right? He knows he should be thankful, and he tries to be – he really does.

 

Sho's first week is interesting, to say the least. His previous internships were challenging, but they also involved shorter workdays to allow for his class schedule. 

Since starting the job, he’s tired all the time, cranky, and keeps snapping at his roommate, Aiba.

Aiba is an artist. He paints at night and goes to art school during the day. After classes, he works at an art supply store. Aiba began college as a bio major, but decided that after two years of asking what he thought were perfectly reasonable questions (“What happens when cells get drunk?”), his advisor suggested he think about what really makes him happy. So now he paints his questions about science as abstract art and all of his new professors think he is a prodigy.

Sho thinks there's nothing practical about art, but seeing as Aiba somehow manages to pay his half of the rent and more each month, he doesn't make a fuss.

 

On the first day, Sho’s superior tells him to call him Matsujun, not Matsumoto. He also insists that Sho shouldn’t be afraid to ask him any questions—that there are no silly questions. Sho thinks Matsujun is a patronizing ass, because no matter how much longer than him the kid has worked there, he's still at _least_ two years younger than him. Matsujun graduated college at 18, and must have been working at the company since he graduated. Sho can’t think of any other way the kid could have made manager in such a short amount of time.

Matsujun assigns Sho a few simple assignments to get him used to the job, promising he'll have more to do later next week.

Sho meets his team a little after Matsujun leads him to his desk, and Sho begins to worry more than ever about the state of his future. The only worker that's older than him is Ohno Satoshi, which isn’t much of a comfort, seeing as he’s pretty sure the guy is high. If the company has kept a pot-smoking employee around for nearly two years, Sho worries about the caliber of work that will be expected of him.

The others seem nice enough--Kamenashi is young, but he is serious, capable, and a hard worker. Ninomiya cracks a lot of jokes but is just as serious about his work as Kamenashi. Furthermore, he’s extremely helpful as he explains what will be expected of Sho at the office. Tegoshi is the youngest out of all of them, almost frightening with his loud, obnoxious laugh. Still, the boy proves himself as Sho listens to his conversations with customers. It’s as if Tegoshi becomes another person, his demeanor suddenly changing into that of a seasoned professional.

Tegoshi explains, with a boyish grin, that his best friend in the company is Massu--Masuda, that is--that Massu is older than him and a Chemistry major and he’s absolutely bloody brilliant. Sho wonders, as Tegoshi waves goodbye to the rest of the team in order to have lunch with the supposedly brilliant Chemistry major, if the boy realizes he's in love.

They also have a part-time intern—Chinen, Nino explains with a sour expression—that helps them with their projects. Nino glowers and continues to explain the office politics. He inisists that Sho shouldn’t even bother asking Chinen for help—the boy makes sure that somehow he only assists Ohno and is too busy to help anyone else. Sho senses a certain hostility from Nino as he talks that he’s afraid to ask about. One office romance is enough for one day, he thinks irritably, hoping that he never has the misfortune to catch Tegoshi and Masuda pawing at each other in a supply closet.

The rest of the team takes Sho out for lunch that day. They're all smiles and cheer, willing to accept him as a part of their group. He thinks, hesitantly, that maybe everything will be fine. After all, what really matters is that you like the people you work with, right?

 

When Kamenashi has a nervous breakdown during Sho's third week on the job, his fears and apprehensions return.

Kame had just returned from internal review—basically a team of experts that ensure their work is both truthful and reliable before going into production—and, after throwing his papers on his desk angrily, he sits at the desk, unmoving.

Sho feels like it's not really his place yet to question Kamenashi, so he sits awkwardly at the desk next to him, wondering if Kame will ever move.

Pi, another employee that's been at the company since forever, knocks on the side of Kame's cube. "Dude," he says, "what did you _say_ to Okada? He’s raging around the office, talking about how all this side does is sit on their ass and complain."

Kame nearly bursts into tears right there, but holds his emotions in check. Sho awkwardly keeps typing--softly though, so he can hear what Kamenashi says--and hears Kame whisper, "They never praise you. You work hard and they're like, my three year old could write better than this!"

Sho looks up, hoping to glance at Kame's face, but instead catches Pi's. He looks awkward, because he and Kame really aren't friends, just coworkers, and Kame is very obviously about to cry. "Have you talked to Matsumoto?" he asks. "You know he'll take your side." Pi shrugs.

Kame let's out a breath, grabs his coat and a pack of cigarettes, and heads out of the team area. "Tell them I'm taking my break," he mutters as he passes Sho's desk.

 

The next day, the office atmosphere is back to normal. Sho is starting to write more and more intricate and detailed articles for the company, doing less data entry, and generally beginning to feel like he's using at least a small portion of his education.

That’s when Kamenashi pulls him into one of the call rooms to have a private chat. "Matsumoto slept with nearly all of upper management to get his position," he says simply.

Sho blinks. "Aren’t most of the upper management… men?"

"Yeah," Kame says, as if this shouldn't be so shocking. Sho is suddenly reminded of the fact that Kame has mentioned his boyfriend before. Sho feels his world crumbling around him. "Look, I just thought you deserved to know the truth about our team and its dynamics. I like you. You’re smart; you work hard. Matsumoto is talented, but there _is_ a reason he's so young and in that position."

 

Since Aiba works nights and Sho spends every waking hour at the office, they really only see each other on weekends. Even that doesn't always happen, because Aiba likes to pick up extra shifts at the store from time to time.

When Aiba wakes up on Saturday, Sho is making pancakes. With chocolate chips. Just how Aiba likes them. Aiba grins. "Does this mean it's gossip time?" he asks excitedly.

Sho releases the breath he didn't realize he’d been holding. The Kame thing happened on Thursday, and he’s been dying to talk to someone about it ever since. He relates Kame’s near breakdown and the truth about his boss. Aiba, to his surprise, starts laughing uproariously. (Although he really shouldn’t be surprised at this point—Aiba never reacts the way one would expect him to.) "Did he seriously say this Matsu guy ‘slept his way to the top’?"

Sho scowls, "No, not exactly. Those are my words. Aiba, you're missing the point!" Sho pounds his fist into the table on the last word, as if to emphasize the seriousness of the situation.

Aiba pauses his laughter long enough to ask what the point is.

"This guy, Matsumoto, he's talented. I just can’t figure out why he’d sleep with gross old men to get to the top. I feel a little sorry for him that he thinks he needs to."

Aiba shrugs. "Are they really all gross, though? Maybe you're just biased because you're straight."

Sho rolls his eyes. "Trust me, if you'd seen Morita, you would understand. There are only a few people in upper management that are decent looking."

 

The time for the annual Christmas party arrives before Sho has a chance to settle in. Unfortunately for him, Aiba is more excited about the Christmas party than anyone at the office. When Sho mentions that he's thinking of not going, Aiba shrieks. "But I've already RSVP'd for you and your plus one!"

Sho goggles. "What plus one? Why would you do that?"

Aiba huffs. "Well, obviously _I'm_ your plus one!"

Sho has just taken a sip of water, and he manages to narrowly miss Aiba's face as he sputters. "What?"

"Yes!"

"Aiba, they're all going to think I'm _gay_ ," he says incredulously.

"So?" Aiba says, as if this shouldn't even be part of their argument. "It’s not like you like any of the girls at your office, right? And even if you do, I’ve heard girls find this _hot_ nowadays."

When the other man realizes that Sho looks ready to implode, he switches to his most effective tactic and whines. "But I really wanna meet your new frieeends!" he pleads, puppy dog eyes pooling with unshed tears.

 

Sho has never been able to resist Aiba's hurt puppy look. It's been like this since college, and Sho has never regretted giving in as much as he does now. It's the company Christmas party before he knows it, and when he shows up with Aiba in tow, everyone quirks a brow. It really doesn't help that Aiba is clinging to his arm and leaning into Sho's shoulder, whispering into his ear what he thinks of the people he can see. Sho resists the urge to massage his throbbing temple, not wanting to appear as if he thinks the party is some kind of chore.

He finds Kamenashi and Ninomiya in the corner near the bar. Kame wears a strained smile while Ninomiya looks as if he's already had one drink too many. ("These people don't care how trashed you get at parties, and honestly, I need to be trashed in order to deal with them. So whatever, right?") When Ninomiya starts giggling at Aiba and Sho's entangled arms, Sho feels like he understands a bit of Nino’s meaning. He orders a rum and coke. Emphasis on the rum.

Kamenashi clears his throat. "It's, um, nice to meet your..." He trails off, unsure what to say and not wanting to offend Sho. The unsaid question, Sho knows, is one that everyone else in the room is silently asking. Sho has only ever mentioned the girls he's dated before, so no one is quite sure what to say about the current arrangement.

Sho finally shoves off Aiba's death grip on his arm. "This is my _friend_ , Aiba Masaki. He doesn't get out much."

Aiba glares. "I do too! Saying that is just _mean_ , Sho-kun."

Sho shrugs. "Well I can't imagine any _other_ reason you'd want to be here," he mutters.

Nino giggles again. "I can't wait to tell everyone who wasn't here that we met your _boyfriend_." He winks at Aiba. “Your _hot_ boyfriend.”

When Sho gets ready to exclaim that Aiba is most definitely _not_ his boyfriend, Kame grabs his arm to stop him. "You know Nino only says these things because he thinks your reactions are funny. If you act like you don't care, he'll stop."

Nino pouts. "You always ruin my fun, Kamenashi-kun. You’ve got to stop being so honest."

They stand around a few moments longer, awkwardly discussing work and Aiba's art before more people start to arrive and the conversation gets a little more interesting. Kamenashi's boyfriend—Koki, the one he’s heard about a few times, whenever Kamenashi forgets that he doesn’t like talking about his personal life at work—comes back from the kitchen with a few sandwiches ("I can't stand those finger foods they serve at these places. You look like a hearty guy, Sho-kun. You agree with me, right?" Sho nods nervously in response, mostly out of fear that Koki might punch him otherwise. He looks like the type.). Sho finds himself happily ensconced with some of his favorite people at the office. Well. Plus Koki. Who, once Sho admits to listening to the Teriyaki Boyz from time to time, won’t stop talking to him about the state of modern hip-hop.

Matsujun arrives fashionably late an hour later, and Sho heads over to make polite conversation. He figures the faster he can get that over with, the faster he can get back to Kame and Nino and the faster he can say his goodbyes. “Matsujun, hey, it’s good to see you here,” he says, smiling and giving him a brotherly clasp.

Matsujun grins, and then looks to Sho’s right. “Good to see you too. Who’s the friend?” He glances at Sho and winks.

Sho really wishes Matsujun would stop pretending to be his friend.

Aiba grins and introduces himself, the same bright smile in place as always. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Matsujun. You were in New York last week, right?”

Sho stands in shock as he sees Aiba deftly lead Matsujun away from Sho’s side and over to the bar. Sho feels like he’s in some weird alternate dimension.

He just hopes he doesn’t come back to the apartment to find his boss naked in the living room. Sho’s not sure he can handle the emotional scars that would leave him.

“Ahem,” he hears a feminine voice murmur. “I’m Mao. Inoue Mao, but please, just call me Mao.” She sighs. “It looks like Matsumoto has left me, yet again, for a handsome man.” The girl—Inoue—shrugs, and claps her hands around Sho’s arm. “I really should learn my lesson. You’ll be my escort for the night, won’t you? I hardly know anyone here.”

 

Inoue is lying. She knows everyone at the office because Matsujun has apparently brought her to every company event _ever_. No one seems surprised that Inoue is with Sho and not Matsujun, which makes Sho even more confused by his supervisor’s behavior. He doesn’t get a chance to ask her about it, because Mao leads him through introductions with nearly every high-ranking employee in the company, making sure that even if they didn’t know who Sakurai Sho was before, they know now.

When Inoue is done, she asks, “Alright, now that _that’s_ finished, who do you actually want to talk to?”

Sho’s not sure how to respond. She laughs. “Oh don’t worry, it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone. I won’t even tell Jun if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I, um. I mostly talk with Kamenashi and Ninomiya. Tegoshi’s okay too, if you can find him, but he’s—”

“A bit young, I know. Besides, he’s with Masuda-kun, over in that corner. If we go over there now, he’ll never pay attention to a word we say.” She quickly peruses the room. “It looks like Kamenashi is free. I wouldn’t bother Ninomiya at the moment.”

Sho raises a quizzical brow.

She jerks her thumb over to the dance floor, where the drunker employees have been at it for a while. “I think he’s a bit preoccupied.”

Sho wishes he hadn’t looked. Nino is… well, the best term would be _grinding_. Against a rather intoxicated Ohno Satoshi.

When Mao—no, Sho thinks, he really should be calling her Inoue; he really doesn’t know her very well, after all—sees his expression, she laughs. “Have you never seen Nino like that before? He gets like this at every party. I really don’t see why he doesn’t just take Ohno home with him and be done with it, but I guess he’s a glutton for punishment. Ohno never remembers anything.”

Sho rather wishes he’d been put on another team. Maybe they’d be saner.

Inoue laughs again. “I know what you’re thinking and—don’t worry. You may have the strangest team, but they are genuinely the nicest. Really. Trust them, and I think you’ll find yourself enjoying the job a bit more. Matsujun likes you, you know. Oh for goodness sake, not like _that_. Staying on his good side will help you a lot at the company, though. Keep that in mind.”

They finally arrive by Kamenashi’s side, and his boyfriend immediately begins quizzing Sho on the latest songs on the radio. Koki seems disappointed in Sho’s general lack of knowledge, until Sho is finally forced to explain that all he listens to is talk radio. Koki is still disappointed, but at least he stops trying to involve Sho in conversation about Snoop Dogg.

Apparently, while Inoue was helping Sho make the rounds, Pi showed up with _his_ boyfriend. Sho feels like he’s starting to get a headache. Maybe he really should have introduced Aiba as his boyfriend—maybe then he wouldn’t have to be worrying about finding Matsujun at his apartment tomorrow morning.

Pi’s boyfriend is tall, with perfectly sculpted features, perfectly fluffed hair. He introduces himself as Akanishi Jin, and then doesn’t say much else for the rest of the night. Jin seems rather bored by the party, but Sho can’t hold it against him. He’s bored too.

After three painful hours, Sho decides he’s had enough. Kame and his boyfriend left nearly an hour ago, and Jin’s bored expression is starting to get annoying. He gives Inoue a kiss on the cheek and tells her he hopes to see her again soon. Then he heads into the crowd to find Aiba.

On his way he passes Ohno and Nino, who, it appears, still have not left the dance floor. Sho pretends he doesn’t notice where their hands are, and soldiers on. Unfortunately, Aiba and Matsujun are in a similar, if somewhat more respectable, state. Aiba is leaning into Matsujun, laughing at his jokes, and Sho wants to barf. 

“Aiba,” he calls. Aiba looks up, whispers something to Matsujun, and heads over to where Sho is. “I’m leaving, you know,” Sho announces.

Aiba shrugs. “Okay. Matsujun will give me a ride back. He promised earlier.”

“Do I want to know?” Sho asks, his hand massaging his forehead.

“Probably not,” Aiba laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ll see you after my shift tomorrow, okay?” As Sho heads for the door, Aiba catches his eye, winks, and mouths, “Don’t wait up.”

Sho will never be able to bleach the image of Aiba sleeping with his boss from his brain.

 

The next day at the office, he realizes with stunning clarity that Inoue was right. His team _is_ strange, but kind. Kame is both helping Ohno with hangover cures, while patting Nino on the back, encouraging him and wishing him better luck next year. Even Tegoshi is trying to be nice, in his own way, by keeping Chinen as far from Ohno as possible while Ninomiya is feeling so low. MatsuJun is kind enough not to mention to anyone that he spent the entire weekend in Aiba’s company, and that if Aiba’s intuition is correct, which it usually is, this will be MatsuJun’s final relationship. Which is weird, because MatsuJun’s his boss, but great, because Sho wants Aiba to be happy.

It’s a strange family he’s made here, and even though it’s not the dream job he expected, Sho suspects it’s exactly what he needed. A group that keeps him grounded, that keeps him striving to be better, to do better.

This time, when MatsuJun winks at him, Sho winks back.


End file.
